why didn't you poke me back
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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