I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
