On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
now i know why i became what i already was.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
