And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
