nut hugger
We're facebook friends in real life
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
