i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
one might say we're banned from that church
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
