I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
