I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
