Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Randomize
