Kareoke will never be a sober sport
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Randomize
