i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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