i think my mom watched the whole time
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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