Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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