My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
