Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
