I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
