just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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