they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
How naked do you want me to be?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
