I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
