We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
