I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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