these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
