Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
