Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
