last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
