Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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