he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
