Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
sex in a hospital.. check
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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