Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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