ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
