i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
