Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
