i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
she told me i tasted like america
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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