Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
