bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
