Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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