just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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