I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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