I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Randomize
