Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
