Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I just found puke in my bra..
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
