No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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