Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
