Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
