eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
