I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just blew my weed a kiss
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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