idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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