accomplished twins. life is a go
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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