Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
