you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
