is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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