she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
