Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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