I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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